team free will, plus one
by Vanus Empty
Summary: In another life, this happened. Spoilers for 5.19.


**Title:** team free will, plus one  
**Series:** "Supernatural"  
**Disclaimer: **Eric Kripke owns, yessir.  
**Warnings:** 5.19 spoilers.  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Dean, Sam, Gabriel, mentions of others. Joking Dean/Castiel, Dean/Gabriel.  
**Rating:** PG-13/T.  
**Other:** N/a.

-

Casa Erotica. Of fucking course. Only Gabriel would ask Dean to protect _porn_ with his life.

"Sam, Dean... you're probably wondering what the hell is going on. Well, if you're watching this," Gabriel says over the girlish giggling from the porn star behind him, "I'm dead. Only... you know, not."

Sam blinks and shares a look with Dean. They both turn back to the laptop.

The on-screen Gabriel smirks and points. "Look behind you, clueless."

The Winchesters turn and, low and behold, there Gabriel stands, a carton of Chinese food in one hand and chopsticks in the other. He waves cheekily at them.

"You – what, you... _What_?" Dean demands, gesturing wildly with both arms. Sam slumps against the Impala, overwhelmed. "Where the fuck have you been? And what's with the food!?"

The archangel shrugs. "Tribute to my man Zao Shen," he tells him, lifting the Chinese food.

Dean nearly lunges at him, but Sam catches a hold of his brother's jacket before he can get too close. Sam glares at Dean, before turning back towards Gabriel. "Gabriel, what happened? How'd you..."

"What, survive an epic show-down with my big brother?" Gabriel takes a bite of whatever is in the carton. He says, with a full mouth, "Asshole says he taught me all of my tricks, puh-_lease_." He swallows. "Ha-fucking-ha. Love the bastard, even now, but he thinks too much of himself. Thing is is that I learned a lot from Michael, too, and that fucker is even worse than Lucifer on the tricking scale."

"How'd you manage to trick him?" Dean asks. Gabriel lifts a bite-size portion out of the carton and holds it up in an offering to Dean. He shoves it into Dean's mouth when the hunter moves to tell him no. Growling, Dean chews and swallows. Some kinda pork-thing. Well, at least he has taste.

Gabriel shrugs his shoulders. "_Well_," he waves his chopsticks around, "it's all very, very complicated and if I explained it to you, your human brain would turn to mush and leak out your ears. Maybe. When all is said and done, it's really just an illusion with a manipulation of Grace to confuse Lucifer." He smirks suddenly, the expression only to be described as smug. "I'd give _anything_ to see the look on his face when he realizes it's just a trick. I left behind a note. 'Up yours, jackass!' Ha!"

Incredulous, Dean thumps the back of his head against the Impala. Sam laughs helplessly beside him. "Dude, you're somethin' else," Dean says, finally succumbing to laughter. "Bangin' a hot pagan god, porn messages..." He shakes his head.

Smirking, Gabriel vanishes the Chinese and steps to them, throwing an arm around both Winchesters shoulders. Sure, they're both taller than his vessel by a lot, so the angle is a little awkward, but it's the thought that counts. "Come on, boys! We got stuff to do, older brothers to piss off, little brothers to find. Little Cas is holded up in some joint in South America. Let's go find 'im!"

"I ain't flying!" Dean yelps instantly. "And I'm not leaving my baby behind! Even for Cas!"

Sam hides a smirk.

Gabriel doesn't even bother. "I notice how you said 'even for Cas.' You got something to confess, Deano? You got somethin' goin' on with my bro?"

Dean looks somewhere between horrified, embarrassed and disgusted. "God, we're stuck with you now, aren't we?"

"Yep!" Gabriel pops the 'p' and grins. "I was even in your backseat, Dean. We're practically goin' steady." He waggles his brows and Sam doubles over with laughter. Dean throws the DVD case at Gabriel's head, annoyed when it vanishes before it even reaches him.

"Friggin' hell, let's just go!" Dean slams the laptop closed just as the porno-Gabriel and the blonde start to go at it.

As the three pile into the Impala, Dean driving, Sam riding shotgun and Gabriel splayed out on the backseat, Gabriel suddenly utters, thoughtfully, "Team Free Will, huh? I think I like it."

He smiles and they're in South America, Dean's shocked yells echoing in the car.


End file.
